dear Mum ...

Ten years have passed, and it only seems like yesterday.
I love you Mum, and really miss you.

A Twitter friend of mine sent me these thoughtful words and a big hug - Those we love don't go away, they walk beside us every day. Unseen, unheard but always near, still loved, still missed and very dear.

o

Happy New Year ...

We've picked up the tickets for New Year's Eve.

We're seeing out the old year at The Fountain Inn, with drinks in one hand and a hog roast in the other!



Celebrated for its connections with Sir Laurence Olivier and Hilaire Belloc


click on pic to play

... and for its part in the Paul McCartney video Wonderful Christmastime!

Here's hoping 2012 is a great year for everyone!

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Just this afternoon I put flowers on Mum's plot for her birthday - she loved lilies.

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flowers for Mum ...

We took flowers for Mum up to the crematorium yesterday - a lovely small Spring bouquet with narcissi, tulips, iris and gerbera.

I usually like to take a pot of bulbs as they last longer, but nothing suitable to pick up Saturday after work.

As we were walking up the hill to her plot, we expected this pheasant to fly away.

But instead it started to walk towards us, and started pecking around right in front of our feet!

It was so funny to watch, and so tame?

Maybe someone is feeding him up for Christmas!

Then thinking I wonder if the resident cat's around, looking to my left there it is walking over towards us.

It's a lovely black 'n white cat, who I get to see on most visits.

I know he's being (well) fed, as I've seen a cat loving couple giving him cat crunchies!

We always come up early, to take photos and have a little look around.

At this time of year there are thousands of daffodils in bloom, and many trees in blossom.

The weather was misty first thing with sunshine eventually breaking through.

The cat was liking the sunshine too, and lots of attention!

o

Remembering Mum ...

on her birthday.

Bright are the stars that shine, dark is the sky.

o

not my photo!

John Lennon ...

My Mum was a fan of John Lennon.

Today would have been his 70th birthday.

Can you believe it?

Right now my Mum would have been 70 too.

It's difficult to comprehend.


We chose to play Imagine at my Mum's funeral.

I do my best to avoid listening to it.

Apart from today.

It's getting easier.

o

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it was an ...

itsy, bitsy, teenie, weenie, yellow polka dot bikini ...

Wasn't I so the cutting edge of fashion, wearing blue polka dot bottoms!

I could do with them today, not forgetting the top half!

It's a scorcher!

This is me and my 'big bro' down on the coast, back in the late sixties/early seventies?

Click on the photo above, to hear a crackly old recording of this classic tune on You Tube.

o

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bittersweet memories ...

The photo above taken in 1950, was in the belongings of a Great Aunt, who passed away this month at the age of 93.

From the left it shows her father John (who I knew as Gampy), and her mother Ethel (who I knew as Old Nan), who passed away many, many years ago.

From the right is my Nan Iris, who is no longer with us, and my Grandpa Eric, who at the age of 96 is alive and well, and lives in Mallorca.

The young girl in the middle (aged 10) is my lovely Mum, who sadly passed away this month back in 2002.

Old photos are bittersweet, a mixture of both pain and pleasure.

o

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today was ...

We started off the day by going into Worthing for a quick cappuchino in Neros, before going up to the crematorium with blue Grape Hyacinths for Mum's plot.

Set in the most beautiful grounds with birdsong abound, it really is the most lovely place to be at this time of year, and a good opportunity to take a short walk through leafy woodland paths and shady glades of Spring bulbs.

I had the camera on me, to take photos.



Steely blue stonework, sadly crumbling.



Bright blue sky, just as it was the year before.



Fluffy heads of Pussy Willow.



Little ladies, white and green, are you glad to cheer us? Hunger not for where you've been, stay still Spring be near us - taken from a poem Snowdrops by L Alma Tadema.



Aconite, the first of all, who is so very, very small, who is so golden-haired and good, and wears a bib, as babies should - taken from a poem The Aconite by A M Graham.



A half open gate in sun and shade.



Pretty pink Hellebore nodding in the sunlight.



Sun casting shadows. An elderly gent sits deep in contemplation on a bench nearby.

ooooooooooooooooooooo~~~

We then drove over to see J's Mum, with of course blue grape hyacinths for her too.

The rest of the morning was spent catching up with news, drinking yet more coffee, eating cake and munching our way through a pack of walnut whips!

Today was ... a happy Mother's Day.

o

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the importance of being a Mum, a Dad, and a friend, love and happiness ...

The sun is pouring through the window and it's March 4th, the date my Mum and Dad got married, back in 1961.

How time flies. Today they would have been celebrating 49 years of marriage. That's if they hadn't got divorced, and Mum hadn't left us for which I hope is a place where the sun shines bright.

When a marriage breaks down it ends, when someone dies, time somewhat heals, but grief and sorrow can show no sign of an end.



One mustn't rely on support, but it is gratefully accepted when it's received.

That's were blog friends come in.

Look at that cute bunny above!

Lisa from Periwinkle recently lost a very close friend.

She came up with the brilliant idea of making cute egg-cup cosy bunnies, with the consent of the pattern owner, with all proceeds going to his charity fund.

Aah look! After e-mailing Lisa with a special request for one with yellow stripes, she made a custom, custard cosy especially for me!

This bunny is sitting next to two items of my 'modern' yellow Cornishware. Ones which I cherish, ones which Mum gave to me after visits to what once was, the factory shop at Church Gresley in Derbyshire.

If you have yet to discover Lisa's skill with knitting needles take a look on her blog, or better still take a look in her shop on Etsy.

To have this bunny in my home makes me very happy!



As, I am sure regular and long-term readers of my blog know, my Mum died, on a sunny day very much like today, of secondary Breast cancer.

She was happy when in remission, but became very depressed and dispondent when she lost the use of her dominant arm, when cancer cruelly spread to her bones. Never being one for giving up, she gave up.

The subject of cancer is one very close to my heart.

That's where blog friends come in.



Back in October, a good blog friend of mine over at Life in Red Shoes, who leaves 'witty' comments over on my garden blog, was holding a Pink giveaway to highlight the fact it was Breast Cancer Awareness month.

She asked for comments from those touched by breast cancer. After reading her very emotional and touching account of losing a best friend, I left a comment. This is the link if you would like to read it, but do have a handful of tissues at the ready.

Look, yours truly only went and won!

Not only did I receive the giveway of a set of emaculately hand-made dishclothes and a set of potholders (another cleverclogs knitter), enclosed was a lovely card, and little bags of seeds collected from flowers from her garden, for my garden.



Love is a difficult word to define.

The word love, of which I confess to using in blog world in a rather indiscriminate manner, can mean many things.

This is the card I sent J as his Valentine. Now, I love him to bits!

I thought you might think it sweet, and as a gesture of blog friendship, and love in a different shape and form, I send it to you.

We haven't kept every card we've sent each other over the years (too much stuff lying around the place does my head in), and what is a lovely cuddly bear, who is is happily surrounded in pink love hearts, will inevitably end up head first in the blue bin!

But not blog friendships, I do hope!

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seventy ...

I love this photo of my Mum, recently rediscovered whilst sorting through a box of old photos.

She looks happy.

My Mum lost her battle with cancer at the age of 62, today would have been her 70th birthday.

I try to imagine how she'd look?
o

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granny's seed cake for Halloween ...

I have lots of memories of my Granny, one of them being her Seed Cake. Why I've waited so long to make one I don't know. I waited in anticipation, and once cool enough to slice, it tasted just as I remembered. It uses Caraway seeds, and Caraway seeds to me are an acquired taste, and not particularly a taste a kid would like. Did I eat it out of kindness, or did I screw my face up with the first bite? I don't remember.



I don't know what became of Granny's cookbook. The recipe I used for my Seed Cake came out of The Best of Good Housekeeping, 1973 edition. This book belonged to my Mum, and I remember this being the only cookery book she would ever use.

Recipe

40z butter or hard margarine
8oz SR flour
a pinch of salt
4oz caster sugar
2 beaten large eggs
approx 4 tbsps milk
1oz of caraway seeds - once weighed, 1oz seemed a lot, I decided on 2 tsps

Rub the fat into the flour to resemble fine breadcrumbs, add salt. Stir in sugar and caraway seeds. Mix the egg into the dry ingredients and gradually add enough milk to make a dropping consistency.

My Granny used a round tin, I used a 2lb loaf tin, setting the oven temperature at 160c and baking until golden brown and springy to the touch.

With money I had for my birthday, I treated myself to the lovely green mixing bowl in Cargo Homeshop in Chichester. It's big and heavy, and only cost £10! I was so annoyed with myself recently as I allowed my trusty, vintage, worth a pretty penny, TG Green Easimix mixing bowl, with a pale blue inside, to fall out the cupboard and smash to pieces!



Whilst piling through recipes on the internet, I discovered that in one small corner of the Midlands region of the UK, Seed Cake was the traditional food to be eaten on October 31st.

The article also states varying recipes, something I discovered too. Hannah Glasse, in The Art of Cookery made Plain and Easy, published in 1805, uses yeast. Mrs Beeton, in the Book of Household Management, published in 1861, uses eggs and butter. The recipe I used has the quality of a Madeira cake. Somes recipes include ground almonds, this would have made my cake more moist. Candied peel can be added too.

Caraway Seeds are often partnered with rich foods that are not easy to digest. My cake, turning out a little dry around the edges, was a tad difficult to digest, with the caraway seeds getting stuck between my teeth!



I remember my Mum was always baking. Her, The Best of Good Housekeeping compiled by the Good Housekeeping Institute, shows all the signs. Grease marks and cake mix on The Family Cakes/Biscuits and Cookies pages!

o

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crabs, donkeys, postcards and silly hats ...

Happy days!

Me and my brother having fun by the seaside, early 1970s.
u

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port isaac in cornwall and mum ...

I love this photo of my mum, looking rather impish, thoroughly enjoying a treat of an ice-cream cornet! This would have been taken in the latter years of the 1940s when cream was still generally unobtainable. Ice-creams would have been based on substitutes, particularly evaporated milk, which was obtainable on a points system, or a mix of this and 'cream' made in a cream-making machine. Walls advertised ice-cream during the second world war with a 'Keep Cool, Keep Calm' campaign!

Today I spent some time looking through old family photos again! My mum passed away on a day very much like today, a beautiful, warm and sunny day, on the 5th of April 2002, so to have these memories of her in these photos, is so important to me.



Here, my mum is pictured with my uncle, granny and grandad in June 1958, on a beach in Wales. Over the years, many a holiday was spent together on the coast, often staying in the West Country.

I discovered a set of photos taken in Port Isaac in Cornwall, I'd imagine again taken in the late 1950s? These may be of some interest to anyone who originates from this area.



This one looking down from Tregarock Hill, having a Spring theme with the little lamb in the foreground, being quite interested in the camera lens!



This one looking down Fore Street. Enlarge the photo and you will see an ice-cream sign selling Walls!

I remember as a child, when staying in Port Isaac back in the 1970s, a kleptomaniac jackdaw followed us along streets like this, taking many a swoop down on me. It was after the shiny buckles on my shoes, for its ever expanding collection!



No information written on the back of this one! I do like the crookedness of these adjoined properties.



The Harbour, which reminds me of the TV series Doc Martin!



Chapel Street. I wonder whether the chapel was, or still is, at the top or the bottom of the hill?



The Harbour wall and small area of sandy beach.

I wish I had had these photos with me on a return visit to Port Isaac just a couple of years back. The next time we go, I shall take these photos along, to compare what, if anything at all, has changed?

For those of you who know Cornwall well, I would be so interested to hear of any information you may have of this area?

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within here is grace and peace ...

Life is like an onion. You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep - Carl Sandburg.

A saving grace to the demise of the once grand estate of Muntham Court, and the demolition of its stately house in 1961, is the now home of Worthing Crematorium, set in idyllic West Sussex countryside. A peaceful place where my Mum's ashes lie, heaven on earth.



Enter through an iron gate and walk through a sea of scillas into woodland glades, laced with daffodils and primroses.



See yellow blossom and ...



... pink blossom, against a Spring blue sky.



See multicolour bark on trees ...



... and a woodpile.



Listen to the 'drumming' of woodpeckers and the 'chink' of great tits, amongst a canopy of trees.

mother's day ...

Today I've been looking through photos and came across this one of my late Mum as a child on a shingle beach, not sure where, possibly Beer in Devon? Another mystery, I wonder who the feet belong to, possibly her Dad!

I can see a family resemblance in this photo. Steve and Stella, can you see Laura?

Happy Mother's Day to all!

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pot mums, polka dots and rotting fish ...

Promise me, they really do have something in common!

I don't particularly like shopping in Tesco, but this morning after a trip to the dentist, and in need of lamb chops for him indoors' tea, I pop into my local store at The Holmbush. Whilst sidetracked amongst the greetings cards, I am witness to a to-do, no not a disgruntled customer to-do, or a screaming child to-do, but an amongst the staff to-do. It turns out they are trying to pinpoint a smell, a horrible smell. It doesn't take long for one of them to discover a customer has, so kindly, stuck a bag of what was fresh fish, and now rotting fish, amongst a chocolate display!

Quickly plonking wrapping and tissue paper in the trolley, I swiftly vacate the area to continue on my way to the meat counter where I very conveniently pass the flower section, and there I spot the beautiful custard yellow 'pot mum' above, and at the bargain' price of £2.50. I just cannot say no!



Whilst on the subject of greetings cards and custard, on the doormat this morning was the beautiful badge card I purchased from Michele at Cowboys and Custard, for my mother-in-law for Mother's Day, which this year is on the 22nd March. Doesn't it look nice alongside the pack of blue polka dot pencils, another impulse buy from Tesco, a bargain at 75p, and ...

talking of chrysanthemums, not wanting to forget my mum on Mother's Day, I shall be placing flowers on her plot. Don't worry mum, it won't be chrysanthemums, I know you hated them, along with pompom dahlias!